Saturday, June 27, 2009

Denny's All Nighter Rockstar Menu

Denny's makes food that would make you puke if you weren't drunk. But, if you're drunk, and worried about puking later, you might eat Denny's to make you not puke. However, there's always the risk that you might not just puke up the booze, but the booze mixed with the Denny's.

However you shoot it, Denny's is synonymous with throwing up.

The execs at Denny's obviously know this, because they've basically thrown in the towel (completely soaked in "fuck it") and have teamed up with "Rockstars" who make music that make you want to puke so that they could create menu items that will make you want to puke your guts out of your earholes!

With collaborations involving Rascal Flatts, Good Charlotte, Sum 41 and Gym Class Heroes, Denny's restaurant locations better invest in high pressure toilets and seriously consider giving their janitorial crew a decent raise.

Here's Rascal Flatts proudly displaying their "If You Like Rascal Flatts, You Probably Knocked Up Your High School Girlfriend At The Junior Prom And Never Moved Out of The Shitty Little Town You Live In And Have Bleach Blonde Spikey Hair And Wear Visors And Flip Flops With Jeans And Oakley's And You Also Sing Along To Jimmy Buffet Without Irony And Your Girlfriend Never Lost The Baby Weight And For That You Sometimes Call Her A Rayll Fuuhkinn Kihnt Bitch Then Run Off To Have A Beer With Dave At Early's Tavern Breakfast Platter":

Here we have Good Charlotte with their, "One or Both of Us Fucked Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie or Married Them or Who Knows, Who Cares, Betcha Can't Name One of Our Songs Egg Burritos":

This is Sum 41 presenting their "Just Happy For The Free Meal Breakfast Sandwich!"

And here we have Gym Class Heroes showing off their, "We Just Jacked Off On Some Moons Over My Hammy, Check It Out Yo'!" menu item.

Thanks Denny's! It seems impossible, but you just ruined the concept of a late night breakfast! This is the world I'm supposed to help save by recycling and driving a radio controlled car? Nice. Real nice.

Seriously, take one more good long look at this and tell me you don't kinda understand how a good Mom could drive a mini Van full of her children into a lake and believe it's the right thing to do:


KennyDoll77 said...

Eagles of Death Metal had one that wasn't bad. But y'know......

kyle said...

i had the hoobastank burrito. i served its purpose.