Monday, August 3, 2009

Guys' Night Advice Column #5: Red Sox

Whaaaasuuuuuup Guy's Night!

Lately, my girlfriend has been all raggin' on me about leaving on my Red Sox cap when we have sex. I mean, I wear it backwards, natch, so it's not like there's a bill poking her in the face. And she knows I never take it off after the all-star break, especially at this crucial part of the season. I've been wearing that hat for 4-years, unwashed and backwards, and it's a good luck charm. Dude, if I could tell you the shit I've been in with that hat. Fights after Sox games, getting arrested for public urination after Sox games, the one time I fingered that old waitress at Who's On First after the Sox beat the Yankees. You get the drift. Good memories. I've been through more with that hat then I have with her. I tell her all the time but it won't sink in. But what really bugs me is that last season she was cool with it. She thought it was "cute". I really like her, almost to the "l-word" point, but my first love will always be the the Sox. What should I do?

-Wade Fenway



Why are you dating a girl during baseball season? Are you wicked homo?

And wasn't this the plot to that gay Jimmy Fallon/Drew Barrymore movie? Pretty sure it was. I saw it like 6 times with my buddy Karl.

No offense, but that's another reason I don't like the Red Sox. That was best guy's movie they could come up with? Little Jimmy Fallon and Grossout Drew Barrymore? I'm a Detroit fan, and we did it right.

See man, if your team is gonna make a baseball movie, you gotta get a badass guy's guy actor to star in it like Kevin Costner. K-Cost!

He's the total package. K's not some young kid, he's an old school tough guy that the ladies can't get enough of. I don't know whether it's his eyes, strong All-American physique or borderline fatherly sexuality that keeps 'em comin' back for more. I just know it works for us when me and the boys are just hangin' out in my basement in the off season, crackin' a few cold brews and watching some Costner flicks.

You can really see how the broads just swoon over this guy's guy. Such a hot piece...for the gals!

Check it out!

GET SOME, Sox fans! Uh uh uh!

We'll totally watch anything with KC in it. He's like an honorary Tig! Of course, no one gets the primo poster spot over my bed but the main man, Thomas:

Hope this helps!


P.S.- The Tigers are gonna be balls deep in your Red Soxy Fengay asses in the playoffs.

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